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What role does the computer play in your
or your children’s life and learning?
Answers from Russia, Ukraine,
and the United States
 | Michael Roninson,
age 14, 9th grader in Shaker High School, Latham, NY, USA |
Computer is pretty much my whole life. The majority of my social life is online, where I talk to friends and share pictures and videos. Most of my entertainment comes from videos online. I also use the computer to research and write for school. Often, I would watch television with a laptop on my lap and multitask: check emails, chat, etc. I also display my music, and learn of new music through the Internet.
 | Margarita Sarkisyan,
age 21, student of Sevastopol National Technical University, Ukraine |
The computer occupies a bigger and bigger part of my life (at least a third already). For me, the computer is a printing press, a photo studio, a stereo system, and a movie theatre, all at the same time. I can print out a completed assignment or an interesting picture or photo, create my own playlist, or watch a favorite cartoon in the evening. Thanks to the Internet I have nearly unlimited access to the films and the books I’ve always wanted to watch and to read. If I can’t find a reference, I always have my friends, and my friends’ friends, willing to help, so someone will manage to uncover the necessary URL. In general the Internet has become almost our principal means of communication, leaving behind even the cell phone (due in no small measure to economic reasons). Interestingly, online communication and real world communication follow different patterns: Both the language and the topics of discussion are different. I’ve noticed that for many of us, our reactions and responses on the net differ from those in real life; here we feel free to express our thoughts and emotions more easily (smileys and icons of all sorts are sometimes very helpful). On the other hand, when I’m online I sometimes catch myself talking in a language not quite my own. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about though.
Needless to say, such communication is addictive. On your way home you are already thinking about chatting on ICQ, exchanging reviews on Proza.ru (a Russian server where anyone can post prose works, and write or receive reviews), or reading messages left by old friends—and potential new friends—on your wall in Vkontakte.ru (the Russian analogue of Facebook). You can discuss the latest news in your town (or university, or neighborhood), share the joys of your successes or complain about your failures, ask for advice. It should be said that people very rarely just offer advice offhand; more often they really empathize and sincerely try to help. The Internet offers something for everyone, and for every occasion. If you need material for a report or resources for research—welcome to online encyclopedias. Want to cook something extraordinary or try a traditional recipe? A thematic Web portal can lead you there. Simply need to kill time (although with me that’s extre-e-emely rare)? Visit news blogs or online gaming sites. All in all, I can’t function without the computer. In a way, this dependency makes life more complicated, but, on the other hand, the very style and pace of my life dictate that the computer must play a major role.
 | Beverly Michaels,
Head of Circulation Services, Tredyffrin Public Library, Strafford, PA, USA |
I purchased my first (very primitive) home computer in 1986, so my children (ages 18, 22, and 28) have grown up with easy access to this technology. However, according to their different personalities, they have used the computer in rather different ways.
My son has always been interested in designing and constructing things, and understanding the technology behind them. At age 11 he taught himself HTML and designed a website devoted to his pet hamster. At age 13 he built a computer from scratch. In high school, he purchased sophisticated software for 3D design and for composing music. Now I can see that all these activities set the stage for his college study of music composition and recording technology.
For my two daughters, it is the Internet, rather than the computer itself, that dominates their activities. They are both introverts who find face-to-face social situations stressful, so they actually prefer online conversations, where their writing skills take precedence. Social networking sites make it easy for them to communicate—and form friendships—with people around the world who share their interests. And though I tease them about having more “virtual” friends than “real” friends, there is no question that their online friends are real friends. Last summer, during a visit to Toronto, my then-17-year-old finally “met” Samantha, who has been her online friend since they were 11 (they originally met on a message board for fans of author Lemony Snicket). Their meeting was clearly a reunion of two girls who had been friends for six years.
Naturally it is important to keep computer use in perspective, and to balance computer time with time spent in other activities—physical, mental, and social. But the computer can help children (and adults) develop areas of talent, and compensate for areas of weakness, when we use this technology creatively and constructively.
 | Maria Bogomolova,
mother of a 6th Grader, Moscow, Russia |
A week ago we decided to restrict access to the Internet by password. This was preceded by a whole series of events and considerations.
It’s 7 o’clock in the morning. My alarm clock is buzzing. I wake up to find my daughter, a 6th grade student, browsing the Internet. Vkontakte.ru—again!
“Hey, wash your face and brush your teeth. Hey, your breakfast is ready.” No response. She is surfing the net... Back from school, she
throws off her schoolbag and logs in.
“How’s life?
“OK.”
She is browsing vkontakte.ru again.
“Who are you chatting with?”
“My classmates.”
“You could have discussed everything at school, couldn’t you?”
She murmurs something unintelligible for an answer.
I call my friend, whose son is a university student.
“When will it cease? When will they be fed up with this Internet?”
“Never,” my friend says. The prospect distresses me.
One day my husband chanced upon the site our daughter surfs. This unwitting contact with the teenager communication world made our hair curl. The child who makes practically no spelling mistakes at school is writing online in some horrid newspeak, warping her spelling on purpose. The content of the writing accords with the form: “Wazzup dude? Check out my userpic 8).”
The psychologists’ recommendations do not help a bit. “Your child lacks real life communication skills” doesn’t explain anything. For holidays my daughter’s classmates never stay at home, they visit different countries, cities and towns. I ask her: “Where have your friends been?”— “We never talk about it.”—“What do you talk about?” No response.
The assignment for Russian Literature class is to prepare a biographical report on a great poet. We have shelves full of literature textbooks, as well as complete works by the author and reference biographies. But our daughter connects to the Internet, picks up the longest article, prints it out—and her report is ready. No reviewing, no reorganizing, nothing!
As a representative of the “old school”, I resent and get edgy with the situation. The great possibilities offered by the Internet are used in a barbaric manner. The computer science course obviously doesn’t help much.
You might say, “Come on, use your powers of persuasion,”—and I do so, hoping for a long-term effect. But so far, I can see none.
I don’t want to prohibit Web communication completely, and I don’t want to draw my daughter back into the world of library card catalogs (although sometimes I feel nostalgic for that time—but this is quite another story…)
Our family council verdict is to limit Internet access. Business first (homework, reading), and then the Web. I realize of course that such restrictions are not the best solution. Access and abundance are better than rations and regulations. Parents and schools share the responsibility of fostering a striving for knowledge and, broadly speaking, an interest in life. The possibilities of new technologies in general, and of the Internet in particular, should be a major tool for achieving this purpose. However, if someone knows how to use this tool effectively, please share your experience.
No doubt, the “Internet: Pros and Cons” discussion is just one perspective of the broader topic of “Our Children in the Modern World.” We parents want them to become familiar with our culture and background, read the books we read, and enjoy the music we enjoyed at their age. They prefer to choose their own way. But there must be a meeting of the minds somewhere – and we should find it, or we risk losing continuity across generations, and communication with our children.
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